The lead really brings us to the ball park. I might have cut the long second sentence a bit. It takes a little bit too long to get to the point. But otherwise, nice detail and sense of place.
By JOHN BRANCH
Published: July 20, 2008
PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Just before David Ortiz hit his first home run, those with $4
standing-room-only tickets lined the upper concourse of McCoy Stadium’s
grandstand, four deep behind the last row of seats. Or they jammed the
four-level stairway down the left-field line, or crowded the gravel patch along
the right-field fence, or squeezed onto the grassy berm in left field, where
there is no Green Monster but a bed of black-eyed Susans atop an eight-foot
Along with those who stood in the aisles, against the wishes of
the ushers, they chanted: “Pa-pi! Pa-pi!” Camera flashes added a strobe effect
to the moment before the moment.
Just as the sun sank beyond left field,
Ortiz hit a ball that rose to right field, to the north, toward Boston. And the
entire little stadium became standing-room only.